This is Why We Shouldn’t Judge Others

I am going to try to stay on topic today. I have just packed up my bag for agility training. I made sure my pups had a couple more meals worth of their home cooked food in the fridge and I am sitting here petting my pup while he chews on a fresh bone. As I moved through this past hour or so, I can’t stop thinking about a situation that happened in my circle yesterday…and how it impacted ME.

A trainer here in our area became one of those statistics. You know, the ones we see featured on the local news and it makes all of us who hear the story, shake our head in dismay. Yep. She apparently left her dogs in the hot car in South Florida longer than she was supposed to. One has died as a result and as of last night, the other is fighting for his life. Are you shaking your head? If you tell me no, I will consider you a liar.

I have heard these tragic stories more times than I care to hear. I live in tropical paradise. People leave pets in the car. Kids in the car. Others are caught busting glass to get them out. It makes our news and I admit…I have judged these misfits each and every time because I have never fathomed how anyone should have kids or pets if they can be so distracted that they forget them in a hot freaking car! I have screamed at my TV wishing all sorts of bad karma find its way to these unworthy and dingy humans who can’t keep their shit together enough to get their living beings out of the car.

Then, it happened to someone in my dog circle whom I KNOW would not be dismissive about her pups EVER. She lives for her pups the same way that I do. She invests time and energy into training. She makes her living doing that and helping others do that. She is a very successful business person and I have always considered her to have her shit together. Not the type of irresponsible person that can forget their dog in the car. Yet, it happened to her.

When I read her posts yesterday, I was in total shock. I mean, she lost one of her dogs…was scared of losing the other but…if it could happen to her, a person who loves and cares for her pups at the same level that I do….it could happen to me. Hell, just last week, I left Bodhi in my Jeep at 7:15 am while I went in to my chiro for an adjustment. I left him in my Jeep for less that 3 minutes – I timed myself. (engine running, doors locked, secured so don’t call ASPCA on me) But….I won’t be taking that chance again because of what happened to this other trainer. Instead of taking that chance, he will be safely secured in his crate at home on the days I can’t take him INSIDE with me because as of yesterday, I am not willing to risk ANYTHING that would cause me to lose him.

I don’t know the situation. I have trained with her but we aren’t intimate with our friendship. She is a pretty great trainer and I know enough of her to know that she is devastated right now. As I imagine I would be had this happened to me. Her dogs were her life…and this accident touched her. (I am making an assumption that this was indeed a freak accident.) Honestly, I don’t NEED to hear the details of the hows or whys. I do know, however, that I will NEVER judge someone in this situation ever again. I will not be so dismissive to decide their whys or hows because maybe they are just like this other trainer and worship their pups and just made a damn mistake.

How often have I jumped to a conclusion about someone or a situation? A damn lot. THAT makes me a bit sad to consider. How many are judging this other trainer right now due to her mistake? When I KNOW she is mourning her loss and carrying tremendous amounts of guilt, she doesn’t need judgement. No one needs anyone else judging them ever…because let’s face it, most of us put enough pressure on ourselves anyway. I am going to really work on this for myself. I have to stop being snarky and judgy. It’s not a pretty quality and does zero to make this world any better.

Her lesson cost her so much. For that, I am so sorry. I can only imagine the pain she is feeling. I hope at some point I do have the opportunity to hug her and tell her that I am not judging her…and that HER lesson taught me more than she will probably ever know.

If you have a pup PLEASE heed this warning. When you think it will only take you a moment, it just could be a moment too long. Our weather is HOT. Vehicles turn into ovens with a quickness. Don’t take a chance. It’s sooo not worth the risk.

Ahhhh Age.

Do you ever wake up in the morning with thoughts in your head and by the time you go pee, you can’t recall what on earth they were? I have been wanting to write more. Instead I am reading. Less time on social media and more time with my nose in books/articles and stuck to my Kindle. Sure, I always wake up with posts and topics to share here filled with wit and perfect grammar but then I go pee and swosh…thoughts are gone.

Is this age? Is it my brain trying to finally REALLY decompress and reset? It makes me crazy and giddy at the same time. I LOVE this quietness that I am experiencing ….for the first time in I can’t tell you how long but I am not ready to have thoughts falling so easily out of my head.

I need to express. I need to wri…..hey…check out that big fluffy cloud….wait…what was I saying again???

Why Did I Wait?

What happens when you hand a 40 something woman a big assed empty house and a pretty open bank account? She goes bat shit redecorating and overthinks EVERYTHING. Yep. That is me. Right now.

It occurred to me this morning as I placed my upteenth order on Amazon that I am trying to rebuild my entire life right now. Everything. I am sitting here with no job. My kids are off building their own lives. I have ripped apart rooms. Hung new blinds on the windows. Fixed plumbing. Rehung doors. Emptied closets. I know with every ounce of my being that I have driven my husband crazy on the daily…and it’s because I am trying to figure out my own life.

I have felt a bit lost these past few months however, there is something else that I have experienced. I am starting to find myself again. This part of me that was put away when I became a Mom..and a wife. A business woman. I have to admit that I am starting to really dig it.

Why, as Moms do we wait this long to get our own shit together? We put our own dreams on hold to raise kids and get married, start careers. WHY?

I am 48 years old and I am just now figuring out what makes me tick. I know the type of people that I enjoy being around. I know the things that make me excited…and the things that don’t. What I don’t know, and wish that I did, was why on earth I had to wait so damn long to figure it all out.