Why Did I Wait?

What happens when you hand a 40 something woman a big assed empty house and a pretty open bank account? She goes bat shit redecorating and overthinks EVERYTHING. Yep. That is me. Right now.

It occurred to me this morning as I placed my upteenth order on Amazon that I am trying to rebuild my entire life right now. Everything. I am sitting here with no job. My kids are off building their own lives. I have ripped apart rooms. Hung new blinds on the windows. Fixed plumbing. Rehung doors. Emptied closets. I know with every ounce of my being that I have driven my husband crazy on the daily…and it’s because I am trying to figure out my own life.

I have felt a bit lost these past few months however, there is something else that I have experienced. I am starting to find myself again. This part of me that was put away when I became a Mom..and a wife. A business woman. I have to admit that I am starting to really dig it.

Why, as Moms do we wait this long to get our own shit together? We put our own dreams on hold to raise kids and get married, start careers. WHY?

I am 48 years old and I am just now figuring out what makes me tick. I know the type of people that I enjoy being around. I know the things that make me excited…and the things that don’t. What I don’t know, and wish that I did, was why on earth I had to wait so damn long to figure it all out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: